| I rest assured in you <3 |
[Apr. 14th, 2005|09:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Amsterdam - Guster | ] |
I love Nicholas! Finally everything seems alright with my family.
Nicholas is coming home tomorrow and taking me to my prom on Saturday. I am so COMPLETELY in love with you baby. |
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| hello, good luck with those god damn resolutions. |
[Jan. 1st, 2004|06:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Deliver Me" - Sarah McLaughlin | ] |
Well, Merry Kwanzaa everyone, and a Happy New Year (although I see no change in occurences throughout the day except for the infallible annual disremeberance of date).
Things are as they are, and taking things gradually in stride has proven a strife less a stuggle, however it is in no matter as the days pass and "time" take off through each breaking dawn.
Things at home are things at home...no other way to solemnly put things except that sometimes I am happy I have Celexa and Trazadone to make it through those harsh days. My father is in bliss now that he is living out his semi-retirement and is mainly working out of home besides his lovable soulmate, his wife. To me, emotionally he seems to be healthier...but physically I know that his condition has worsened over the last few years, and I don't think he could have afforded to lose those years from under-medication. Unfortunetly life doesn't deal to mamy Aces all of the time...
Well, looking forward to moving back home hopefully within the next year or so, and keeping in constant hope my father's condition(s) don't worsen too much over time.
Jay (older brother (in Iraq)) is planning on getting married to Christi on Memorial Day weekend and he should be home from Tikrit with many stories and a sullen relationship hoped in reprisal with his little sis, but we'll see.
Pray (yes, I know...) for Krystal - she needs all of the support and love that she can recieve as in her times of beginning in the United States Air Force.
"Think about your dreams...they come and go as the wind moves, but leave you with and effervescent chill." - Me |
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| ...yeah. |
[Aug. 27th, 2003|03:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ugh | ] |
well i have gotten into two "discussions" in the past like...3 days I guess with my Dad. He says that I am a total "bitch" and that i only make my family "miserable" because all I do is complain and shame on me that i haven't fucking adjusted yet. i should have had that down by week #2, right? they were considering shipping me off. yes, my dad said that we "should consider some possibilities" is i am this unhappy because they have put up with enough of my shit and are finally fed up. from what i am told, i like watching my family try to help me feel better here, but i apparently like it when they fail....? Yeah, that's what i said. whatever dude seriously, 5 weeks is not enough time for me to pick up my life and forget about everything that i have ever known. i feel like one of my only true supports in life has just let me down at probably the worst time. thank god krystal and jay are here.
if i only knew...
sad. simply sad. |
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| good afternoon. |
[Aug. 25th, 2003|05:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blue and yellow - the used | ] |
well thanks again guys, it is so awesome to know that you guys care, and i know i am being redundant but i couldn't make it without you.
julia! it is so great to hear from you! sorry that we haven't talked that much since...well...8th grade i guess hehe but you are great kiddo - keep shining and i hope school goes well this year!
and that goes for the rest of you all too - have an awesome first day and keep me posted, i am eager to hear how people are doing and how summers went up there, kk? that's what i thought. (nods)
so i have been considering graduationg after this year so i can go back up to CT - UCONN for schooling my freshman year so i can go back and see everyone and be there for senoir year.meh...ya never know.
so i still haven't met any "friends" except for stephanie who is graduating in Dec. ANYWAY...so i need to go back. i have decided.
i appreciate all of the moods i can be in on this option-y thing. nice touch. |
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| ya-hi. |
[Aug. 16th, 2003|05:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mother earth - heaven coming down | ] |
hmmm this is cool...not.
after a full week in school as the new kid i have 3 friends. 3. i have reached the realization that no one cares about the new kid - and that's fine, it doesn't matter. i have all you guys. thanks again.
oh yes and i would like to say thanks also to Daryl and Amy - you guys are awesome and hopefully i can talk to you guys soon. you mean a lot to me.
oh yeah, and what is REALLY cool is when your "boyfriend" doesnt' call you when you are going through a giant emotional strain. whatever.
later.
green light switches. NEON green. |
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| hello. |
[Aug. 13th, 2003|06:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | black rock - O.A.R. | ] |
i hate it here. thank you claudia, kelly and alex to for writing to me. i don't think tkhat anyone really knows about the lj, hopefully the word will spread.
alex- i am hoping to get back up in good 'ol CT soon, as in appr. christmas time. i don't know really though, i mean it all depends on if my family can ever trust my mother again and let me stay with her.
kelly- it was nice hearing from you and it was awesome getting to know you as well, you are an awesome person and don't forget to let people know that!
claudia- i think i responded before to your entry, but thanks again for posting something and you are also an awesome friend. good to hear about you and andy. hope all is well.
amanda- thanks for everything. without and the love and support that you constantly show towards me, i would be wreck.
i hate this place. i hate the people. i hate the school. i hate the attitude. i hate the weather. hate is a strong word...and i plan on using it forcefully. i hate this pathetic mind game that my parents play with me and how ever single time i fall for it. this blows. i miss CT. i want to go home. i want to be with the people who care...
oye bitch bitch bitch. i gotta work on that. sorry guys. |
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| yeah... |
[Jul. 24th, 2003|03:25 pm] |
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hey so i have some news. i am taking college courses a year earlier than i had planned, like i will still be getting credits in high school for my senior year, but i am also holding some college courses, that way, when i get into college i can go in as a sophmore (kinda like a transfer sorta). so i am pretty excited about that, it's good to feel like i will be getting out of this soap opera. amanda - thank you for that message, it means a lot to me that you care. i don't know if too many other people know about this journal, but if they do, they aren't saying anything. hopefully i will talk to you soon, but for right now i have to go - mikey sent me something over e-mail...i gotta tell you guys about my birthday present from him (whew). tty all soon. |
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| eh |
[Jul. 22nd, 2003|05:23 pm] |
hi. i think this is my first journal entry.
things are so f*cked up here in "paradise" of FL. Yes, FL. after a heated argument with my mother and her threatening to leave me in Maine after our vacation, my father decided that he didn't trust my mother and decided to whisk me away to our house in FL with my stepmom. yeah, you figure it out. eh, i'll write later |
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roofus1247's journal